this morning was shocking. refreshing. great. i had the most wonderful dream. mind u. it was a decent dream. but never the less sweet. i dreamt of the sweet happenings back when i was more foolish, more innocent, more naive.

i had a wake up sms call~ i actually jump up. not because it was distracting. cos in my dream, i was about to make a phone call. at least tt wat i remember. so i jumped up. read e msg. stone at it for a while. start jumping up and screaming until i realise who it was from. sometimes, i think m1 server really’s weird. their users alwasy has +65 prefix in the phone. and it alwasy confused me. but well. tt’s not e point. the point is. i was happy~ it’s look a promising way to start e morning. in fact it was excellant.

i was like thinking. perhaps she wanted to talk. be it hell or heaven i rush head on begin the 1st phrase. thoughout the conversation, i manage to confirm my deductions y she looks so sad n lost. i always gd at this. deductions.

learn many depressing news that somehow linked the past. the distant past seem to link so much to me. b date. jap name. dialect spoken. i was really shocked. all of a sudden i was flunged into total darkness. a darkness that even the black hole will fall ashamed. i felt that even it things go on smoothly, i would just be a replacement. a subsitute for some1 long gone.

was i just some replacement? a 2nd? i no longer know?
or god just have to torture me with this?

but alas, she was willing to open up. at least she was making a step forward. at least she trust me as much as to know that.

read a blog. and i discovered the fear in her. the feeling of being betrayed when wat each gave out to each other was uneven. when 1 really gave out her everything, the other was merely treating it as a game. all of a sudden, i feel really into her shoes.

i guess libras are alwasy likes this. we never tell ppl mouth to mouth how we really think and feel. instead. we chose to use the gift of language to do this. to tell the world how we really think and feel abt anything. wishing that some1 reads it and understands, and yet dreading the moment when such information will leak out and be used as weapon against urself. contridiating?
we are.

was checking if the blog has any updates. until i discovered that the newest entry was hidden. was it meant just for me to reaD? and after reading it. she hide it? or am i deluding myself? i no longer know. wat is happening? or am i so simply confused that i was’t looking correctly? a entry just for me to read? i’m happy~ the trust increases

let’s hope tml’s trip for e new phone will keep me occupy to think of such things.

my advice of the day: keep urself bZ. stop thinking! n move oN!

-The world is not beautiful. Therefore, it is. –