Puzzled [不解]


for though he knows reality, he chose the path of delusion that has no markup…

xxx

and he happen to meet up with dingdong and joy

and he meet up with claire

and he happen to meet up with xiandi

and he meet up with crystal and rachel

and he meet up with tai2

and he happen to meet up with p0hp0h

meeting up with 8 lovely individuals. yet he was not happy.

it’s a great joy to bump into and to meet up with fun people whom we happen not to see for some time. yet, from the various meetups, he learnt more facts or whatever news he is not exactly please to learn. just not up the mark

for starters, he woke up from a thiny wheeny dream. and it was a hard hit. and he starts to hate two words used in descriptions. perhaps it’s fine when those wordings are used to describe him.  but…. nah… use the similar wordings on another individual, he gets annoyed rapidly. how sad. comparing kind of suck big time. huge. major.

for seconds, he learnt that the secret convent thing’s FULL. sad but true. guess it’s pretty much too bad.  the setback is big. then again… it doesn’t matter. guess animals are much better than moon? well… too bad… just not up the mark

and so, he has woken up…. and he just doesn’t meet the mark. just doesn’t meet the mark at all.

how sickeningly sweet…

xxx

on the brighter side, there are some cool things… barely meeting the mark

1. finally grabbing a chance to watch buffy the vampire slayer season 1-7… yeah… he knows it’s an ancient show, and he’s way behind time. then again…. lifes’ pretty much a hellmouth anyway…

2. project works starts getting concrete…

3. aside from catching up and meeting with the old ppl, the new memories and bonding with new ppl’s equally’s fun.

4. project mates are interesting people, with a good healthy mix. –> really? nah… everyone’s unhealthy.. =)

5. there’s this really really cute cat down at the block

6. mumu finally graduated…. yes… she FINALLY graduated.

7. catchup with jas and juudee… (Oi… our friday… you ZONG YOU QING SE.. !@#$%^&*()

8. peelings of the body is long over for most ppl… (and of course… claire’s finally starting to peel on her thighs…)

9. caught up with hiang morris sama…

10.  FINALLY know who someone is… as in clearing the doubt to the phantom person who resembles someone… wow… so he does know her… haha. to think he mistook her for another one. well, cool project matey

xxx

tai2 mentioned that he projects a higher than average self confident level. he thinks perhaps. and wonders, ponders and doubts. maybe.

will there be someone who thinks otherwise? then that person probably knows him best.

then again, he doesn’t know about himself too… could others knows?

tai2 mentioned again that… to love oneself, blah blah… then only can oneself learn to love others. he thinks he has learn to love oneself, yet he does not love himself… (well.. he does’t hate himself…. =D )

mumu mentioned that in the game of life, it’s one philosophy in life that channels them energy… he thinks it’s true. but his way of life is just evil.

then again, evil is pure. or so he decrees.

and sometimes, his royal highness doesn’t understand himself. yes, he DOES NOT understand himself. perhaps, just perhaps, there may be someone who understands him more then himself.

her royal majesty says she understands him best. afterall, he is her fresh and blood. who else but her can understand him? well, to an extend, she does understand a bit. does she?

xxx

his highness firmly believe in the power of the three. afterall, from the depths of time, the number 3 has been a symbol of power. from witchcraft, magecraft, circle of magic to watever you can think of. hell yeah, even books are written in trilogy. who dares claim that 3 isn’t a mythical number?

and so, his royalness thinks 3 is indeed powerful and magically.

there was once when he read that the soul of a human is split into three pieces. when when the two pieces meet in the real world. they could form up into real friends who know and care a lot about each other. and when the 3 meet, they are complete.

xxx

then again, will he find the three?

and may the other 2 soulmates be girls =)

men, afterall, can’t be trust at all.

but they say god is male? right? hmm… a paradox..

and so, strangely in the night his royal highness feel an sudden outburst of negativity… afraid; terrified; frighten; fearly and doubtful. it came like a blast, from nowhere…

and at the strike of around midnight, as though a miracle happen, something nice bestow on him. all the good, greatness, postivitity came back to ‘haunt’ him. yes… the choice of word is ‘haunt’. weird? perhaps…

well, afterall, his royal highness’s weird? he would very much prefered to be term as unique, one of a kind, ozzling with an aura that sets him apart from the norm in a good way.

okay… time to sleep.. (what a way to end..)

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hmmm… had a call from another who own a luring voicebox. now, if boys even possess sweetbox vocals, i would die to answer the phone… that aside, it seems xmas will have a change?

xxx

did a search ‘xmas’ on the blog. and to his surprise, more like horror. xmas seem besiedge by army duties, fevers, falling sick, or having whatever fun with the boys… and when we do gatherings with the boys, we most certainly do NOT exchanges xmas gifts. we do not go screaming 5…4…3…2…1… (okay, did once with another group) or anything that cross the border of decency and craziness.

we DO however, drink booze till we throw up [that never happen to me =)], play games, drink more booze. go out, have a hangover, drink booze, and congratulate ourselves when our wallets and valuables are still with us. excellent?

xxx

perhaps it’s long overdue for a change. though not particular zeal about everything. hey, it’s a change, and this chap need some time to get attune to it. hmmm…

for starters. to settle the presents which was never an issue (see top). condition set by the organizers (yeah.. not me this time, hate organizing stuff. cos it’s = DUTY)

1. SGD 10.00 and less
2. Nothing Edible
3. No mugs

problem no. 01 : we can actually get something under SGD 10.00? it’s unbelievable!!!
problem no. 02: this means nothing that can be shared and eaten. and no chocolates. gosh…
problem no. 03: people actually give mugs on xmas? hmm… hilarious?
problem no. 04: considering the boys are a whole lot of taoists and buddhists.. with one sole christian… (he’s our xmas planner anyway…) what do we do at xmas? BIG problem
problem no 05: can we drink BOOZE? hehehe!

hmm….. helpers people? any help?

calling for aid, the help line is OPEN!

freak out.

freaky monday night.

to think the pillow was damp when his royal highness woke up in the morning…

he woke up several things in the night with lots of moisture in the eyes,
back to sleep he went back, back to  dreams he  dove in.
continuing the dreams he was seeing, continuing the horror he was feeling,
everyone died, everyone perished,
the weeping continued, the dream continued

it’s time to get a new pillow…

xxx

just what was so sad that it make the pillow moist with tears?

too much fantasy stories of despair from elves, mages, the world facing an armageddon…

xxx

at least, he knows the tear glands are working… haha

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