just dust

what’s the difference between men and women?

what’s the difference between between boys and girls?

what’s the difference between between the old and the young?

despite all the senseless debates, in the end, we are all the same.

dust. dust. we are just dust and ashes. we are the same after all.

goodbye.

 

a new beginning, a new book

—————-
Now playing on iTunes: 张韶涵 – Tian Jian Yue Guang
via FoxyTunes

it’s a wonder how good one can actually feel after they have let something go. both mentally and emotionally. he felt he could fly after he visited. one last and final time he did went. the flowers he offered seem to linger in the sweet air as he left. mourn over.

everything seems pretty positive. even dreadful chinese tutorial was delightful. the new tutorial mates are sweet and cool people. =) and yeah, more girls than guys as usual. for once, ONCE. for once, he was able to enjoy a decent conversation with female counterparts without going into a gloom mood on this special day, without thinking of …
sept 19, struck off his calendar. no more a day filled with self pity or self misery. wonderful. thought a part of him will remember. it’s time to move on.

oops. moved on. =)

and when a friend actually sang 童话 on the way back home in the train. he wasn’t bitter about the mtv. he felt peaceful and actually enjoy her singing. and even feel peaceful about the past memories.

so, it’s the beginning of a new book. not a new chapter, but the start of a new book. with the previous pages carefully cherished and not bitter at all.

and he screams, “I FEEL GOOOOODD”

 

sept 19

good. he’s functioning really well on this day.

good job.

he’s finally free? perhaps.

at least, somewhere within him, he’ll always keep a piece of memory.

xxx

one exam’s over. cheers.

dinner with friend. though she doesn’t know, its sort of a mini celebration for himself. celebrating a promise he made to the dead 7 years ago. the end of mourning. it’s good to have company on a mournful day =)

the start of free rein.

 

goodbye my heart, and may you rest in peace

ever heard of the seventh year itch? in chinese proverbs (if its even inside it), it meant 七年之痒. at least, that’s what we get to heard from all the couples that separated or from some old wives’ tales.

guess in layman terms, it just meant an unfaithful, a not so loyal man. and tomorrow’s (rather, it’s an hour less more) the exact full term of full seventh years.

goodbye my heart, and may you rest in peace.

not to mentioned tomorrows’ a mid term test.

tomorrow, he will move on with life. and visit one last time.

at least, he aren’t as paranoid as the years back. where he’ll just sink.

term times up tomorrow.

goodbye my heart, and may you rest in peace.

—————-
Now playing on iTunes: FictionJunction YUUKA – Angel Gate
via FoxyTunes

 

if there is no mark, there is nothing to meet

for though he knows reality, he chose the path of delusion that has no markup…

xxx

and he happen to meet up with dingdong and joy

and he meet up with claire

and he happen to meet up with xiandi

and he meet up with crystal and rachel

and he meet up with tai2

and he happen to meet up with p0hp0h

meeting up with 8 lovely individuals. yet he was not happy.

it’s a great joy to bump into and to meet up with fun people whom we happen not to see for some time. yet, from the various meetups, he learnt more facts or whatever news he is not exactly please to learn. just not up the mark

for starters, he woke up from a thiny wheeny dream. and it was a hard hit. and he starts to hate two words used in descriptions. perhaps it’s fine when those wordings are used to describe him.  but…. nah… use the similar wordings on another individual, he gets annoyed rapidly. how sad. comparing kind of suck big time. huge. major.

for seconds, he learnt that the secret convent thing’s FULL. sad but true. guess it’s pretty much too bad.  the setback is big. then again… it doesn’t matter. guess animals are much better than moon? well… too bad… just not up the mark

and so, he has woken up…. and he just doesn’t meet the mark. just doesn’t meet the mark at all.

how sickeningly sweet…

xxx

on the brighter side, there are some cool things… barely meeting the mark

1. finally grabbing a chance to watch buffy the vampire slayer season 1-7… yeah… he knows it’s an ancient show, and he’s way behind time. then again…. lifes’ pretty much a hellmouth anyway…

2. project works starts getting concrete…

3. aside from catching up and meeting with the old ppl, the new memories and bonding with new ppl’s equally’s fun.

4. project mates are interesting people, with a good healthy mix. –> really? nah… everyone’s unhealthy.. =)

5. there’s this really really cute cat down at the block

6. mumu finally graduated…. yes… she FINALLY graduated.

7. catchup with jas and juudee… (Oi… our friday… you ZONG YOU QING SE.. !@#$%^&*()

8. peelings of the body is long over for most ppl… (and of course… claire’s finally starting to peel on her thighs…)

9. caught up with hiang morris sama…

10.  FINALLY know who someone is… as in clearing the doubt to the phantom person who resembles someone… wow… so he does know her… haha. to think he mistook her for another one. well, cool project matey

xxx

tai2 mentioned that he projects a higher than average self confident level. he thinks perhaps. and wonders, ponders and doubts. maybe.

will there be someone who thinks otherwise? then that person probably knows him best.

then again, he doesn’t know about himself too… could others knows?

tai2 mentioned again that… to love oneself, blah blah… then only can oneself learn to love others. he thinks he has learn to love oneself, yet he does not love himself… (well.. he does’t hate himself…. =D )

mumu mentioned that in the game of life, it’s one philosophy in life that channels them energy… he thinks it’s true. but his way of life is just evil.

then again, evil is pure. or so he decrees.

 

rejoice!!

extremely happy.

i’ve finally gathered the courage to go through the past memories. and learn new insights from friendster.

and the new stuff i’ve learn made me feel really good.

now that the mourning’s past. it’s long overdue to look forward.

sept sorrow is long gone.

xxx

yes, i’m a true blue libra. one who will forsake once the novelty is gone.

still, it took a good 9 years to do so.

goodbye s.k.t (reverse)

and i can learn to l___ again

it’s time for a new life.

this is good.

 

Mika – Grace Kelly

Mika – Grace Kelly

Grace Kelly by Mika

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I’m a little bit shy
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me without making me try?

**I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I’ve gone identity mad!
I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?
**
Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want
**

– source code shamelessly leeched from kat

=X

xxx

this is one rocking song =)

at times, we have avril lavigne who goes all round singing great songs like girlfriend. then again, since she’s a lady singer, shes goes rapping all from the female perspective.

his royal highness thinks that, we MEN, need songs that can help us express too. true, lavigne’s songs do express our thoughts, but hey, it’s all for females…

it just does’t seem right for the guys to singing from a lady’s point of view. afterall, men do need stuff from their point of view…

and we have some ‘mika’ chap singing a song based on grace kelly =). merits to him.

lovely lyrics too.

now we men have a song to attune to.

xxx

Golden lines… places in unranked order.

1. Do I attract you?
2. Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
3. Am I too flirty?
4. I guess I’m a little bit shy
5. Why don’t you like me?
6. Why don’t you like me without making me try?